i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yo dont text me then not text me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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