It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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