it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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