i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
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