He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
