He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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