Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
