Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
