Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
