Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
