I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
