Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
