I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
