Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
