He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Randomize
