i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i believe in u and ur pee
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
