Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize