You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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