Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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