So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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