my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
