he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
this hospital has no fireball
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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