If that was your dad, he is hot
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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