If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
