How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
