The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
