my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
