My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
