I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
