i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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