I seem to have left my pride at pride
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
