god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
