I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
