kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
