People in love make me want to vomit
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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