i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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