I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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