It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
