how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's never too late to be topless.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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