So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
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