Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize