i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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