she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
