i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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