return my video game
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize