problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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