so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
