God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the day after is always just damage control
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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