I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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