I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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