I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
