What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
