it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
