yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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