i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you would pick up someone in the library
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
