I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
