it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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