walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
she looked like the before picture.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
