i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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