i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
