My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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