Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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