is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
should my penis look like a turkey
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
