I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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