Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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